The 7 Disciplines of Elite Triathlon

I know what you're thinking..."errr, triathlon is three sports." Well you're in for a lesson my friend, on the grueling and intricate lifestyle of an elite triathlete. While I'm generally an advocate for simplicity in training and racing, sometimes there is more than meets the eye when it comes to professional athletes. This is my exposé on the secrets of triathlon success.

Swim/bike/run are the easy parts, just get your butt out the door and train (discipline #1: training). Transitions can be thrown in with training; it seems obvious to me to practice them (it has been well documented that even when I have a crappy race I always have the fastest transition splits), but if you watched Vancouver Int'l or IM Hawaii on TV this weekend you'll have realized that pretty much everyone sucks at transitions, even some world class pros.

I also often preach the importance of nutrition and awesome Canadian music if one wants to succeed, so those are numbers 2 and 3.

But all those are the obvious ones, and anyone can figure that stuff out. It's the other four secret disciplines that must be mastered if one is to achieve greatness and/or world supremacy in the sport of triathlon:

4. Video Games:
Recovery is essential to consistency in training and in turn performance. A critical aspect of recovery is becoming a loser and shutting out all social activities, and the first step is playing video games. Get some tea and omega 3 cookies, put your legs up, and waste those Nazi zombies. If you're really good you can ice or use your foam roller while playing.

5. Unemployment:
Also related to recovery, having a job is a waste of time that could be better spent napping, or better yet playing video games. Above this, going to work is just a drag in general. To many the thought of quitting their job to train full time is a daunting and life-changing decision. But really it's quite simple: quit your job-->train and recover effectively-->win Hy-Vee.

6. Sleep:
9 hours per night, plus 60-90min napping throughout the day. No exceptions. Beauty rest is critical to looking awesome while training and racing, and studies have shown looking good is the most accurate determinent of winning a triathlon. If you've ever seen Magali Tisseyre race you know this to be true.

7. Hot Yoga:
You may scoff at this one, but this discipline is two-fold in it's benefits to the pro triathlete. Not only does stretching, core strength and muscle stability directly relate to health and performance while training, but hot yoga makes you feel like you've done a workout when really all you did was stand there and stare at girls. Speaking of which, an elite athlete's entire social life consists of saying hi to the hippie communist server at Starbucks who calls you "comrade", and going to hot yoga. So don't miss it.

Master the 7 disciplines of triathlon I will see you on the podium.