So you know when you see someone that you haven't seen in a really long time, and you both make eye contact, but its been so long that it would be less effort to pretend you didn't recognize them and continue with what you were doing, than make the effort to say hi? But you can't help but look again and, "damn, they saw me again"...and now its awkward? I know you know what I mean. Well that's how I feel about this blog right now.
I love to write, its the only thing I was good at in school. And I like to have opinions, even if they are occasionally baseless or obnoxious. So either I could spend my time criticizing the writing and opinions of others, or just take it upon myself to try and carve out my own little literary niche in the triathlon community. The latter tends to be more productive and generates less angry-eyed stares from my mom when she reads this.
Over the summer I let my blog become a bit of a beating post for my frustrations with the race season and I found myself getting overly reflective on what could have been. I have learned a lot from this past summer - priorities, having fun, and gaining more appreciation for a sport that I have not yet figured out - but I feel alienated from the attitude I like to bring to the sport and to what I write about.
There are a lot of athletes in the sport, often at the higher levels of competition, who can at times lack an outside perspective on their training and racing when things go bad. You can't help but wonder, how did they not know they were injured? How did they not know they were not prepared for that level of competition? Why is it that there is a strong positive correlation between the relative strength of an athlete and their lack of satisfaction with a performance?
I think runners are even worse for this than triathletes - running is such an inherently simple sport - but when was the last time you went to a running race and DIDN'T hear someone complain about an injury, the course, the weather, their competition etc. And its usually the fast ones! What kind of example does that set for beginner athletes or those who know they aren't racing to win? I should train more to lose confidence, and get faster so I can complain about myself more?
But triathletes are probably a close second in the world of excuse making at the finish line. Its amazing the perspective you can gain from simply watching a race that you would otherwise prefer to be competing in. Sure, I want to be fast, really really fast. But not at the expense of losing my reasons for participating. I NEVER want to be the athlete who crosses the finish line and has ANYTHING negative to say, either at the race or in writing. As an endurance athlete, if you race poorly, you can regret your lack of preparation and nothing else. We don't do endurance sports because they're easy or we expect all the stars to align for every event. The fun is in the challenge. I love training, racing, the traveling that comes with it, and sometimes telling my story about it. And I'm tired of making it seem as though I don't enjoy what I do.
I want to be the athlete who didn't have it all the talent handed to me, but am proud of how hard I work because I do this for myself, and who is grateful for any chance I get to race. Whether I win or stagger across the finish line. No empty flashiness, no questionably epic pain faces, just focused and having fun. If this blog is an autobigraphical story on my career in triathlon, I'm closing the awkwardly self-reflective chapter of painful overthinking, and getting back to talking about fun things, exciting plans...and still the occasional opinionated rant when I feel the need to weigh in.
First is some more exciting traveling! In a few days I'm taking on a different role and perspective and heading to Triathlon World Champs as a member of the support staff, but more importantly a ridiculously loud spectator for my girlfriend Amanda who is competing at her first Age Group Worlds. I'm looking forward to turning this into a bit of a travel blog for a few weeks while we are in New Zealand, assuming I don't break my neck in any one of: freeriding, zorb balling, hobbit hunting, horseback riding through the mountains, or the world's biggest ledge swing.
When we get back it will be right into training for 2013, and I already have most of my season set. I am still giving it some thought but I am really happy with my plans so far. I can't wait to get the year started off right with LPC Florida Camp, and I am also looking forward to putting in some more miles on the R3 and race for the CoachChris.ca cycling team again. I'm always going to be a triathlete first, but I love cycling, and its fun trying to figure out the finer aspects of road racing. And I just happen to be pretty good at it :) I'm even getting a Powertap back on my bike, in large part so I can post my sign sprint wattage PB's. But more on all the new toys when I get back!
